I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
