He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
