My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
