Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
