I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
