I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
