I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
