Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
