She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
