When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
