Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
should my penis look like a turkey
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize