You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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