you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize