Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
