I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
