She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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