well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
