I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
