I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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