oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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