i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
