Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
even my farts smell like vagina
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
