the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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