I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
