his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize