actually, I'm a sock model
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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