GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
