There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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