I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
