She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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