im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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