Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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