Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize