I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
is that a dick in a sweater?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
