I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
