What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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