yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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