Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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