Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
