we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
