Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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