i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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