speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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