direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
