Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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