Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
