Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
