The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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