So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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