Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
