Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my shit smells like andre
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
