I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
