she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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