not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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