The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
