is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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