She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
