It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
