We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
