i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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