Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
