Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize