How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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