Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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