The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize