She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
