1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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