After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
