ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
