When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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