And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
